A very strange dream I had last night.

The dream state can offer illuminations into some of our most persistent illusions.

I was dreaming about someone I loved… I felt this love so alive in my heart, as if it was a moving living thing with its very own character: A touch of tenderness, a sprinkle of sweetness, with a nurturing quality to it, a sense of affection and adoration, and a desire to care. It had a unique flavor; and while I loved everyone, I wouldn’t feel that particular way toward just anyone.

Now what happened in the next 3 seconds of the dream blew my mind away:

I had no idea who that person was – that person I loved! My mind went completely blank. Who was it, who was it that I felt that love toward? I knew there was a particular someone, but his name and his face had escaped my mind. I’d totally forgotten. How could it be, how could it be that I forgot who I loved?

My mind brought up a few possible people for suggestions, but none of them matched. No no, I loved that person, but it wasn’t him in this case. Neither was the other one. Not that one either.

Finally!! After what seemed like ages – but only a few seconds – I remembered (in my dream) who that person was. It was a Balinese boy named Wayan, ten years my junior. Of course, of course it was him!!

It was then that I was struck with this realization, once again: All the love we ever feel is created and generated entirely from inside us, 100% of the time. And then, we look outside to find someone or something to project that love on to. We seek an external factor or circumstance to assign and attribute our feelings of love to. We say, ‘You make me feel this love.’

But that’s not how it works at all. It never works that way though it looks very much that way. The illusion is uncanny and persistent. What I saw in my dream vividly, acutely pierced through the veil of illusion: I had felt that love in my heart first, and then, I looked outside to find an object to assign that love to.

This is all that has ever happened in our human experience. It’s always 100% internally generated. When we understand this, we know that no one can ever take love away from us. We no longer fear breakups. We no longer need our partners to show up a certain way in order for us to still love them. We no longer need our dates to approve of us or think highly of us.

I’m really passionate about sharing this understanding on relationships with more people. It is the game changer. It makes relationships so much more fun, effortless, and fulfilling.

This time, as Valentine’s Day’s coming up, I’m offering a small group program (6 weeks long) for maximum 7 women, who are ready to take the journey From Self-Love to Partnership, and to find their partner for a fulfilling long term relationship this year.

This program is by invitation only and starting Feb 20. If you’re interested or know someone who might be interested, please email me emily (at) to find out more details.

Have a love-filled Valentine’s Day! You are the Love you’ve been looking for.


Posted in Blog.

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