The Killer of Connection in A Relationship

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Have you ever wondered why you don’t feel connected or have stopped feeling connected to certain people?

Believe it or not, connection is a pre-existing fact of life. We are always connected to ourselves, to each other, and to Life. In fact, all of the atoms and molecules in our bodies come from the belly of the same exploding star millions of years ago.

While connection is always there, the feeling of connection does ebb and flow. It’s like the sun that’s always there, but sometimes when the sky is cloudy, we can’t see it.

What I’ve realized lately is that connection is only felt in the absence of identity.… Read more

The Gift of Your Sexual Energy

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I was at a New Year’s Eve party dancing my booty off to amazing live music… when a young woman came up to me with a beer in her hand, “Oh you danced so beautifully. I wish I could move my body the way you move your body.”

Later on, after many men had approached me on the dance floor, some of my male friends came over and asked if I had had too much to drink, because I seemed too ‘high.’ “No,” I said, “just plain water.”

I realize, for one, I was not under the influence of alcohol, and second, it wasn’t that I had very good dance training.… Read more

Stop Taking Credit For Everything

Did you grow up being taught to take responsibility for everything? Isn’t that what a good human being does – to take responsibility for what’s happening in their life?

Then you gotta read on…

You see, two weeks ago, I went to this sacred temple site on the west coast of Bali. It’s called Tanah Lot, a very cool temple on the rock, by the shore, where the tides after thousands of years have carved a rock formation as you can see in the picture below:

 

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There was space below the rock formation that was just the right height for me to stand underneath and hold my arm up to push against the rock.… Read more

What Harassment Teaches Me about Communicating with Men

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I’ve recently had some unpleasant experiences with Balinese men that people in the West would call ‘harassment.’ However there is no such thing as ‘harassment’ in Bali; women’s rights is virtually non-existent here; men can make blatant sexual remarks and get away with it.

At first, I was very upset. I strongly disliked it. Anyhow, despite the cultural and linguistic barriers, I have managed to speak up, clear up the situation, assert my need for respect, and intend a relationship of love and understanding between us.

Here’s the interesting thing: In my work with Western women, we’re dealing with the phenomenon of masculinized women, daughters of the post-feminist era whose grandmothers have fought hard for their independence and respect from men, women who are fiercely self-sufficient with a ‘don’t-mess-with-me’ attitude, who are proud of their equality in the relationship, marriage and workplace… and yet who are struggling to find passion, juiciness, and a delicious courtship dance in their relating with men.… Read more

There Are No Such Things As Relationship Problems

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There are no such things as relationship problems. 

There is only unhelpful, sticky thinking about the relationship, which looks persistently real rather than looking like ‘thinking’, which we then attach significance to with our free will.

Our entire perceptual reality is created by Thought. There is nothing you’re seeing, feeling, observing, sensing right now that’s not made up of Thought. Our whole world is wall-to-wall Thought, completely self-generated from the inside out, moment to moment to moment.

Yet, Thought makes everything look so real, as if you’re looking at a world out there, separate from you, where your partner is treating you like s**t, where the guy you love just couldn’t care less about you, where your friend is being so unkind and inconsiderate.… Read more

Delicious Relationship Tip: Addiction, Obsession, Attachment are Not Quite Necessary

 

 

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Why need to hoard water when who we are is the fountain? Why need to collect flowers when who we are is the tree? Why need to search for sun rays when who we are is the sun?

What we all deeply want to experience at the deepest level is that formless essence of God – of love, beauty, compassion, peace, well-being, and connection with all Life.

We use things in the world of form as means and vehicles to point us in the direction of the formless… to give us glimpses of the formless and timeless… to help us experience that love, beauty, magnificence and Truth.… Read more

Delicious Relationship Tip: “I’m Scared of Repeating My Parents’ Marriage”

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Are you secretly freaked out from committing yourself to a relationship because of your family history or something that has happened in the past?

During the Q&A session of my webinar on ‘The Secret Sauce to Attracting A Man Who Honors, Cherishes and Supports You’, a woman confessed her fear of being in a relationship and asked for help. You might just find yourself in her question!

Woman: Because my parents have less than a perfect marriage, I feel really scared of the whole subject of being in a relationship. In fact, I’ve just walked away from an engagement because I just couldn’t make myself walk down the aisle… just the thought of letting go of my freedom.Read more

Delicious Relationship Tip: Ducks & Wild Rabbits Got It, What About Us?

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Animals in captivity never seems like a good idea to me (except for mad and dangerous ones).

Seeing birds in cage or pets being chained usually makes my heart sink.

Today I took a walk in a hidden track behind the rice paddies and saw a brown rabbit in the wild, for the first time here in Bali. It was so cute… freely roaming and chewing on grass.

And then there were ducks swimming in the shallow water left on the fields after harvest, freely treading, splashing water, pecking each other’s feathers… They were all so happy, which made a smile blossom on my face.… Read more

Delicious Relationship Tip: Independence is So 2000 and Late

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I remember a conversation between my mentor and me on the subject of human evolution. At one point, he said something that struck me so deeply:

“If we were in a tribe, and I knew that you had a musical instrument, would I need to carry one myself? If you knew that I had a particular medicine, would you need to carry any for yourself?”

I was stunned.

The answer was “No.”… Read more

You are needed. You matter.

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In place of the usual Delicious Relationship tip, today I just want to express my pure appreciation and gratitude to you…

My audience.

My clients.

My tribe.

Every time I sit down to write an article or a blogpost for you, speak to you on the phone, or conduct a webinar, I am fully present, fully here, and there is something about being 100% here that is so nourishing for my body.

I looove the work I’m doing. I love love love love love my clients. I looove coaching. Speaking to my women, seeing you wake up, seeing your relationships transform, and making a difference to you gives so much joy and fulfillment to my day… 

 

When one of you responded to my newsletter saying that you find my practical relationship tips so helpful…

When a client told me that thanks to coaching she had had a lot more ease and calm in her life, and without coaching she would probably be fighting/battling with everyone right now…

When a client said how enlightening and eye-opening it was to understand why she had pushed away all her past intimate partners…

When an attendee on my webinar said that what I shared had helped her view relationship in a completely new light and opened the door to a new world of possibility she’d never seen before…

Those moments sealed in for me that my presence matters here on this planet, in this time.… Read more