Turn Up The Heat

happily ever after


It’s totally possible for a couple in a long-term relationship to feel the juicy sparks of romance again, and the good news is you don’t have to wait for your partner to initiate anything.

Is this true?

Yes, it is. I’ve written about it here and shared with you how to turn up the heat with your long term partner in my latest article for Together magazine.


It’s not about flowers or fancy dinners. It’s about magnifying your own sensual energy and inviting your partner into that space.

Remember those first dates you had with your honey, years and years ago?… Read more

Why You Might Be Fighting a Losing Battle

Just put your feet up

Self-care is much easier when things are great, when we’re feeling high, vibrant and alive, when the money is flowing, when the partner is loving, when life is easy going…

Self-care is much harder when things get tough. When it seems that we make blunders. When there is just too much to take care of, fix, handle, manage. When we are the last thing that we want to attend to, after everything else on the long to-do list.

So what does self-care have to do with your success, your relationship, or dating?

You see, ignoring self-care means fighting a losing battle.… Read more

Where Does Happiness Come From?


One morning, eight years ago, in an old town in Copenhagen. I was walking along a cobblestoned street near the canal. Spring was in full swing, the sun shining brightly, Easter in the air and in the shop displays.

At the time, my grandfather had just passed away a few days before.

I was looking like an ugly duckling, wearing thick glasses, many pounds heavier than I am now, having a bigger waistline and more fat around my tummy than I do now. My upper incisors looked like a bunny’s front teeth.

I was not earning any money… just living on parents’ allowances, scholarship fund and part-time work savings.… Read more

The Real Reason Why We’re Pissed Off

pissed off

So I was composing this message on Messenger to my date who visited me yesterday:

“I am pissed off because the prawn shells you threw in my compost box yesterday started to stink.

I wish I had asked you to throw them in the trash can outside instead. But you didn’t know where that was so I would have to show you anyway. And I didn’t want to go out, I was dead tired, so I said oh well screw it, just put it in the compost box… Damn it!!”

And then I stopped in my tracks.

It just hit me: What the hell Emily, with all that time writing that message, why don’t you just go empty the compost box into the trash can??… Read more

What do you make ‘I Love You’ mean?


Have you ever wondered what ‘I love you’ means to you?

You know, ‘I love you’ means exactly just that.

I love you.

It doesn’t mean I need you.

It doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with you.

It doesn’t mean you have to be with me.

It doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate.

It doesn’t mean you have to do anything for me.

‘I love you’ doesn’t mean any kind of obligation.

It means just that: I love you.

How many times have you held back from saying ‘I love you’ to someone because you’re afraid it’s gonna impose some kind of obligation on the receiver, or that it would mean something about you?… Read more

Why You Might Be Hiding Behind a Story of Not Needing a Man Yet


Which end of the spectrum are you on…

Are you feeling desperate and hopeless about being single, and feeling the urgency to have a date…

Or are you staying cool and saying ‘My life is pretty good as it is, I don’t really need a man’?

You see, last week I talked to this very successful woman who, despite her frequent complaints ‘Where are all the eligible men?’, told me right at the beginning that her life was pretty good and that she didn’t feel like she needed to be in a relationship.

Something felt strange to me. After digging a little further, we found the truth: She realized that she had always felt more miserable, lonely, unstable and unhappy while being in a relationship than when she was being single.… Read more

Why It’s Not Always Smart To Do Everything On Your Own


It’s NOT always the smartest choice to do everything on your own.

If you’re struggling in some area of your life, sometimes the most sensible thing is to do is to go get the help you need.

If the plumping or heating system doesn’t work in your house or your car, get your landlord/ plumber/ technicians to fix it. Stop tolerating and trying to figure it out on your own.

If your body is aching, get a massage. I mean it, get a massage.

If your grocery bag is too full, ask for someone to help you carry it.

If there’s too much to do with your business, get an assistant.… Read more

3 Misunderstandings that Keep You Frustrated with Your Relationship/Love Life

couple in love 2

No matter where you are with your love life… I have something for you on this upcoming Valentine’s Day.

If you’re happily in love, that is wonderful. I wish you a beautiful day with your partner!

If you’ve been single for too long and struggling to find a date, or you keep ending up with the wrong guy, good news! I have a f*ree gift for you, fresh out of the oven: A 20-min audio on 3 Misunderstandings that Are Keeping You From Attracting the Man and the Relationship of Your Dream.

It cuts to the heart of the question in your head: What am I doing wrong or not seeing that has kept me single or ending up with the wrong guy for too long?… Read more

This Might Be The Most Important Thing You’ve Ever Read From Me

Bali style, Klimt

The world of form enthralls us, enchants us, entrances us. The world of form, or content, is constantly morphing, changing, shapeshifting.

In a relationship, the content might be: how we’re communicating to each other, whether we’re seeing eye to eye, level of intimacy, how affectionate we are, how good our sex life is, if we’re feeling certain with each other, whether they like us, whether we feel good enough about ourselves, a smile, a hug, a frown, a tear, etc.

In business, the content might be: how many people we have on our email list, what launch we’re doing, the conversion rate, the quality of our conversations with others, how successful or impactful our work is.… Read more

The One Thing That Turns A Relationship Around


Do you have ‘problem’ with a certain person in your life? Do you find you two locked up in a pattern of conflict almost every time you get together? Would you like to find a way out?

Let me share with you something: I’m no different from the average person. For me, that ‘difficult’ person had often been my mom.

So today let me tell you about the ‘change of heart.’

The ‘change of heart’ means a change in one person’s thinking or perception that miraculously shifts the dynamic of the relationship. It takes just one person. This change happens involuntarily, effortlessly through an insight or realization, without our own conscious work.… Read more