Everyone of us has our fair share of being f**ked over. Just about everyone I’ve talked to, including myself, has been f**ked over in one way or another. Examples include:
- Going to a highly-rated restaurant, ordering a dish, and it turns out to be horrible, while the service sucks
- Being in a relationship with someone who seems to be such a great match, but things turn sour and irredeemable afterwards
- Being convinced to invest in something: a program, a training, a property, which turns out to be appalling at best and a scam at worst
- Hiring or partnering with someone who seems very promising but ending up either overpaying, overtrusting, or even getting betrayed.
We carry a lot more fear in us than we are actually aware of.
This fear stops us from opening up to new opportunities that present themselves in the present moment: a new date, a new way of living/thinking that will completely turn our life around, an amazing business/investment opportunity, a gem to be on our team, etc.
In 4 years of relationship coaching, the #1 thing I heard from both men and women alike is just how afraid they are to open up and love again, to be seen by another human being, to be without the protective shell. They are so scared to be hurt again. And yet, relationship is not the only area where people are fearful.
If only people could see that the feeling of fear that we feel in any given moment has got nothing to do with what’s happened in our past. That feeling of nervousness and anxiety has got nothing to do with our past (unpleasant) experience.
Our feelings in any given moment come from one place and one place alone: Thought in the moment. Feelings cannot come from an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, a sour relationship, money lost in a past investment, business partners or employees taking advantage of us. Feelings also cannot come from a future outcome, no matter how bleak or bright that might be. The past does not have tentacles that can reach into our psyche in this moment. The future does not have electromagnetic waves that can penetrate our mind in this present moment.
Everything we feel happens right now, in this hot second, in our psyche, generated from the inside-out by Thought in the moment.
Seeing and knowing that is the best thing we have going for us when it comes to decision making, evaluating options, assessing opportunities.
Whatever we feel in the moment does not tell us what we should or should not do – date the person or not, invest or not, hire or not, go to that restaurant again or not. Whatever we feel in the moment tells us where our head is at. It tells us whether we’re seeing things clearly or we’re in a fog.
The more we understand this, the more in touch we will be with wisdom, and the less we’ll need to be in the driver’s seat. That’s when life’s just happening through us, moment to moment, every moment afresh and anew, uncontaminated by the illusionary past or fictitious future.